i-lost-her

2008-10-18T05:18:00.002+08:00

周杰伦 - 说好的幸福呢

你的绘画凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散乱了

情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呐
伴你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了

时间过了走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了却了我哭了
一开始的不快乐
你用卡片拭写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了

Chrous:

怎麽了你累了说好的幸福呐
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦淹了
开心与不开心一一叙说着你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得

你不等了说好的幸福呐我错了
泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着要怎么停呢

2008-07-08T06:09:00.002+08:00

right now is 6.30am....another 26 hour i will be heading to another island for my next part of life....yes! i'm going tekong bmtc school 2 to train to protect country....haha....but somehow i just felt that time really pass by very fast....it's seem like yesterday i just completed my week zero orientation or just had a great night of fun with all my fellow kiakis....though my outside or words says that i'm not afraid of going army and treat it like very easy to get pass....but deep down inside i'm panicing about what kind of life it will be inside....i know it will be tough with all the training....but how tough will it get....will i still be remembered when i book out after 2 weeks....or will i just spend my weekend at home sleeping and sleeping....

recently have been wondering....what kind of ze sheng aka eric have he turned into....have he turned into someone that become super picky and easily hate and look down on people....have he turn into a person that people just hates him for who he is now....recently realised that i'm will get pissed or angry with someone very VERY VERY VERY easily....for instance like dislike people to report some small matters to another person that is concern....for example talking to a friend about another friend rumours and he/she went to tell that another friend about it....and that in return i become very cautious about their character and about what i want to chat with them....am i taking some small little small fishy thing way too serious....am i thinking way too much into people's act or word....

right now before i actually get enlist into tekong....inside my heart i actually wish to see one person the most....but i know she won't be reading the blog so i shall just say it here....i really wish to see xiao zhu zhu aka piggy aka danicia alot....because i know very well that some space inside my heart still thinks about her....is she doing well or is she feeling stressed up? from the time i know her....i know she very easily get stressed up and always needed someone to be there for her....someone to be there to cheer her up and make her feel confidence in doing her assignment....someone to always show her concern if she very late still doing assignment and also waking her up everyday because she always can't wake up on time de....recently heard from her friend that she felt very sad the next day after we had a big quarrel the other night....i know i had made a big mistake and i regret it alot ALOT....but somehow i'm just concerned....i'm concerned about you....because i simply just can't lose you....because you had been very precious to me ever since we get to know each other closely....i also didn't feel good after that quarrel up till now....many times i wish to sms, msn and even call you....but i just don't dare to....because i scared you might treat me like a stranger....alot of times when i happen to pass by places that we once spend time together....it will always remind me of you....still remember near your house the bubble tea shop....now and then when i happen to go there to have dinner at the market....i will always remember that day when we sit outside the shop and take photo of you and listening to the mp3 you let me listen....now i just wish to tell you i'm really sorry about how i treat you....because to me you mean oxygen....the moment i don't have oxygen....my life seem to become black and white and nothing seem interesting....i'm so anxious about you and him hanging out together and in close contact means that i somehow afraid that one day you might just stick together very often and completely lose communication with you....frankly speaking....my hearts bleed everytime i asked you to go find him and ask him to take care of you....because that's is just a stupid angry comment....

SORRY DANICIA!!!

2008-05-21T23:11:00.002+08:00

finally GRADUATED le....haha....today was my graduation ceremony....had a fun day with all my class and course mate....had so much photo-taking and catch up session with them after the ceremony....after that went to esc to rest and slack while waiting for ong to finish his session....haha....but today was a great day in terms of fun....

but in terms of people....was quite disappointed bah....cause she actually promised to meet me days ago to take photo with me on graduation....but in the end she said don't want....maybe because as she said she really tired bah....so i can't really blame her....but then i really looking forward to today to meet her and take photo with her and spend time with her....but in the end it turns out to be a disappointment....haiz....=(

2008-05-13T00:40:00.002+08:00

should i let go and move on with reality....but it's so hard to let go leh....anyway since the reality is proven in front of my face and mind that i'm the old things and she doesn't care anymore....i guess it's time i should let go....but what i really sad now is that the way she treat me is like dumping away something that she lost interest in....to me she is just like another huiyi or janice bah....but at least janice is better than her in some way....

in her i finally see that she is really another girl that want new things to experience....seriously i should not trust her so much in the first place....because i trust her too much that she take my trust for granted and make fun of it....look like i really should choose the kind of person that i can really put my full trust in them....

2008-05-07T01:27:00.002+08:00

i feeling so uneasy all of a sudden....just when i feel that everything is going well for me and her....something really just makes me go on a low tone....

it's will be one month since me and her like know each other and everything have really going very well....but out of nowhere....someone that she's is contacting frequently more often than me really makes me feel uneasy....ya....it's the guy that she know from jam & hop during the orientation....and today she told me so much things

for your info....she told me that his name is also called eric....and she even said that he's entertaining and fun....which in the past few weeks she said she don't really feel like sms or talk to....but today she told me that he's fun and entertaining to sms with....and she regard me as the caring kind....so does that mean she wish to have 2 person character....and just now when i was talking on the phone i can also guess that is he smsing her in the middle when we were talking....and i guess must be she keep smsing him also bah....and she actually asking me whether to call or sms to reply....the moment she said she got the idea to call already make me feel as though my heart drop from 19th floor....and i actually told her say i put down the phone and she go either call or sms him....

i just feel so helpless now....in her i see that i'm just a understanding senior she can look for when she needs help and guidance....besides that i think to her i'm really nothing anymore....though she always call me by the nick she gave me....but somehow i feel that she now calling to make me happy....but in actual fact i feel that she's more happy when smsing him....

2008-04-30T03:52:00.002+08:00

so bored!!!
so bored!!!
so bored!!!

life is really bored without any school or things to do....but one thing that really occupies me is the appear of my xiao zhu zhu aka piggy....because it's she that let me know what i can do each single day....which is to meet her and accompany her home....and now she have become a important part of my life that i will be very lost if i don't have her now....

but today actually had a history repeat....2 years ago when i was still with a girl that is my best love....we were suppose to meet at ikea tampinese together with my friend to shop around....then she suddenly told me that she meeting her friends at ikea too and going out later when she reached....and once she told me that she went off to meet her friends and from then on it's the end of us....today actually have something similar....but i do not wish to talk about it....because so far she had treat me very good and i can't really blame her this time....

but anyway....i'm enlisting into tekong bmtc school 2 on july 9th @ 11.30am....so time will really flies like rocket....=)

2008-04-24T22:59:00.002+08:00

everything just seem to pass so fast....a blink of an eye i already now a graduated tp student....which also mark the start of my next part of life - ARMY! but seriously i don't wish to leave tp....to me tp is just like my second family....alot of fun, sorrow, anger and obstacles faced happens in tp....but to think of it i can't always stay in tp forever and also i will still grow old so i can't really catch up with what the young ones think if i really stay in tp forever....

but right now i just felt so missed tp....for the past 2 week had cried because there's is something that i have for tp which really make me don't really want to leave tp....that particular thing is LOVE....
1. the love for all my friends from all over the school
2. the love for camp and fun and major event like open house where tp student all gather as one
3. the love for tp school song, mass dance and chicky dance
4. lastly....the love for who i am now because of what tp have taught me

2 more months before i will be enlist into bmtc school 2....will i still be able to sing tp song one last time in camp? will i really have the chance to return to tp often for camps after i enlist? will people call me out whenever i book out to catch up the time lost?

2008-03-03T23:48:00.004+08:00

当全世界的人都可以遗弃我的时候，

只有你不能遗弃我，

因为你是我拥有快乐的理由

"It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

am i really still living in the world of dream when i know perfectly very well that we are impossible??? so much things have happened recently and yet i still manage to get past it after 2 serious breakdown....but when i'm at the lowest point of my life and really needed someone to be there....YOU suddenly appear in front of me and cheer me up....and now YOU are the reason i'm smiling again and have a aim in my life to live on brightly....so please don't destroy it....please

2007-12-21T23:27:00.000+08:00

just had OTC from monday till wednesday....had a great time there knowing new friends, cheering, playing games & laming around....though it's not as wonderful as the time i spent with serpion or kaistor....but it's still very memoriable because camp are always the best where all fun happens....

one camp is over and the next one is coming....OTC just ended and i'm getting busy with e-guides training camp already....the camp is just next thursday till saturday and i still had lots of things yet to be done....somemore all the holiday festival are here....hari raya, christmas and new year....but all this busying with camp stuff is worthwhile because i really can find lots of fun there....how i wish i now is still a year 1 who are craving for more and more camp ahead....another few more months i will graduated....the camps that are left for me are e-guides, FO, MTC and week zero....i will really miss the life as a TP student....

2007-12-04T02:12:00.000+08:00

term test coming i'm yet to study for my papers....want and got the heart to study but don't have the strength to do it....to everybody out there who are having their exam or term test soon....do work hard and really score well for it....

just want to apologise to someone i have recently neglect so much....sorry that i didn't really sms or call you nowadays....but i glad to have you around....because you never failed to try cheer me up when i'm down....you always there for me when i needed someone to care for me....at times i really wish what's bothering you inside as well....but you just said nothing....but whatever the case is....you can always depend on me to hear your problem....

“当你不开心时，我就会变成萤火虫。。。

在你身边飞，逗你开心逗你笑！

答应我，每天都要开开心心。。。

我不想每天变成萤火虫，

你知道啦！屁股很烧的咧！”

2007-12-01T23:38:00.000+08:00

just wish to say something that not been disrespectful or what....but how i wish i can use my life to exchange the other 5 innocent life from the cambodia tragedy....because seriously their life is worth a thousand more times important than me....i'm really getting tired....the kind of tired nobody can really understand....people can say me emo and can say that my EQ is very low....but i'm just born to be this way....how i wish i can have the kind of innocent life that i had before during my kindagarden or primary school life....a life that will never have to feel trouble about what the adult world are....

since secondary school....i saw alot of life experience with my eye and i realise the adult life is very complicated and troublesome at times....but right now....i just felt as though i am someone who always lend my helping hand for those who seeks help and in the end i felt that they just feel happy that they got the help they needed but yet don't know who is the one they helps them....in another words....they are taking the person who helps them for granted....that's the kind of life i feels now....

sometimes i just hope that in this world they is this method or medicine that can clone ourselves image and have all the same personalities that we possess except that they do not have the attribute call trouble....because without trouble i guess the world and life will be much happier for them....if this kind of clone do exist....i really do hope it can understand how i feels now....but too bad that's no such thing....and yet there's no such kind of friend that can really understand 100% how i feel....the only person that can really talks to me now and make me cheer up happens to just know me also instead of someone who knows longer than me....

for goodness sake....for anybody who reads my blog....please spare me....don't take me for granted and also don't make me feel like a fool....i already experienced before the feeling of being a fool....for the 2 of you....please don't make me feel like a fool again....because i will just feel depress....because all i can think of is that all of you are treating me more like a fool than friend....this way is always called taking me for granted....right now i felt that i'm just being a real big fool being listening to all your bullshit and in the end what is see is not what you 2 said....

all i ever want is just a simple life....i just want to be a good, cheerful, respectful leader that can find a good job in the future and give myself a good life....that's all i really asked for....so for those who are treating me like a fool and taking me for granted....then i just beg you all please spare me and leave me alone....

"It's hurting to see the one you like is right beside you but yet she can't be yours"

2007-11-11T16:31:00.000+08:00

just changed my blogskin....spent quite long to do it also....recently so many things happen....but main focus for me is to get my esc work and event done and work well....i will do my best to help out the rest if it's within my power and ability....but one thing i enjoyed most is my busy schedule now....at least that can keep me away from thinking about other things....

by the way....now i beginning to feel that i'm a irritating people among others again....don't know why but the feeling just comes like that....but whatever thing comes i will still just face it....if others choose to ignore what i do or the way i help them....then i got nothing else to say....as long as i do it right and i don't feel guilty about it....

2007-10-04T23:42:00.000+08:00

02/10/2007

today went back to school to play badminton with belvin & gerard they all....had a little small session of training for the upcoming Director's Cup against belvin, deming & idris....it's really a very good time and game with them....because all of them are playing different style so i more or less is training in all area in all kind of playing style....after badminton went to meet dear & her friend for kbox session....the second time i went singing with friends....first time was to party world with my school friend....it's expensive that's why seldom been to that kind of place with friend....but the singing session was great....with laughter, nice singing and also some romantic moments....really enjoy the session alot with dear's friend but enjoyed most with my dear....

04/10/2007

today wake up very early to go sentosa with esc people....didn't had much sleep as the previous night watch soccer till 4.30am then sleep for 2+ hour then wake up le....meet them at vivo at 9.15am like that....we went to kopitiam to had our breakfast while waiting for the rest to come....after that we took the monorail go to palawan beach to play and sun-tan....haha....today session was excellent man....should once a while have a small session like this to chill out and relax....but the sad things is most of us all got sun-burned....because recently the weather is damm hot and the sun is scorching hot....after that we went to bathe then head over to vivo to eat dinner....some of us went to long john while some went to carl's jr....after dinner we went over to gerard house to see his dog and also play mahjong and daidee....he house looks great with all kind of entertainment especially his dog is very cute....but overall this week has really been excellent with all kinds of funs....

*Dear....later on is our 1 month anniversary le....just want to say thank you so much for always giving in to me....recently i have not been able to accompany you much due to my busy schedule....just hope you won't mind....but no matter how many times we meet i still love you so much....think there's nothing in this world that can really separate our love string le....i will continue to give my all and so do you....because together we will build a wonderful future for ourselves down the road....just really hope you will enjoy the day later on together even though we meeting the rest later....loving you always! =)

2007-10-01T00:48:00.000+08:00

today spent the whole day at home watching video that i had download....cause just felt very tired to go out or meet dear....cause yesterday when out to meet dear and friends at parkway....yesterday lots of thoughts flash through my mind while on the bus and i started to emo after so long....the rest of the day at parkway was just sian sian lor....after that went over to dear's friend house and mood was started to pick up le....ate jaime cooking and it taste nice....but still not as nice as mine cooking....muahahahhahaha! anyway....to those checking my blog regularly....i won't update my blog very frequently because i too lazy to do it....if you want can just tag my board and i will reply de....

dear....just hope you really enjoyed the time with me....1 month is coming le....just hope you will enjoyed that day the most for what i had planned....love you always! =)

2007-09-18T14:47:00.000+08:00

haha....very long didn't update le....so shall update today if not DEAR will keep saying why i didn't update....haha....

so far life has been normal lor....just that don't know why nowadays can get tired so easily....maybe things around me are not so happening than school period bah....just ended some camp and it's really fun and looking at the participant expression tells us that they enjoyed this camp much more the EEO camp....so for me it's a relieve....

*just want to say this to dear....thank you for always being there whenever i feel tired....because your concern really means a lot to me....just want to really say i treasure you a lot and i never want to let you go....finally want to say i enjoy every single moment, every single second together....it's the most happiest time i ever had....i love you! muack! =)

2007-09-09T00:52:00.000+08:00

hmm....just came back from camp 500....the participant enjoyed this time round at this camp compared to eeo camp....though there's still complain in this camp....but most of them are still satisfied with what they have played or do....as some saying....nothing is perfect especially for camp....so there bound to have some complain here and there....but for me i still do enjoyed it a lot especially the campfire....and a miracle happened is that for the first time i didn't lost my voice in camp....haha....surprised that a camper and very enthu about cheer like me for the first time never lost my voice....haha....but seriously it's a good camp lor....3 cheer for camp 500....Hip Hip Hooray! =)

haha....i'm in love....and i seriously treasure her a lot now....glad she had finally accepted me....i seriously enjoyed the time we had together....so happy you miss me so much for the past few day while i was at camp....i do miss you a lot as well....can't really do without you anymore....may our love can blossom and stay forever happily....love you dear! =D

2007-08-31T15:26:00.000+08:00

hmm....recently quite down lar....not because of personal problem....but just felt guilty in some way....the response for camp 500 is not that satisfying....most of them said they don't want to join giving the excuse that they got japanese exchange on sat or they got work or something else....but the real reason behind it is they don't wish to bored out during the camp again....because of the bad memories they got during eeo camp....they find it boring and not so happening....till now i still very guilty about the fact that i didn't do my best but give them a big disappointment....somehow i the organiser should really take the full responsibility in this result....because i could have follow up or come out with the programme....but i just leave everything to my different department in charge....haiz....

today is the last day of MP-SIP and it will be holiday for me....but coming sat and sun we are to help out with our company in doing demo for the project at the IT show at suntec....somehow it will be interesting but yet we not sure what to do on the day also....beside my weekend are packed from now on....sat evening got church and sun morning got church as well....hope i can really have time to relax during my holiday....that's all for now bah....=)

2007-08-26T23:56:00.000+08:00

haha....today wake up quite early to wake up someone before went back to sleep again....but have to wake up at 8 cause going for service at 10....the second time i going for service le....but i really enjoyed going to city harvest church service more than other church....cause the the band simply just rocks and god's word been given simply touches bottom of my heart....so most likely will be going again next week....but this time i will be going for both sat and sun bah....have to see how first....as for cell group....dunno should join yufen one or my friend one....cause today met i think is my friend cell group leader....he's very friendly and he took my number so most likely he trying to pull me into his cell group or something....hmm....shall see bah....

after service went to have lunch with them at bedok hawker center....but because i got no appetite so i just ate a bowl of yam paste....after lunch we went separate ways....my friend they all some go study some go walk around slacking while my friend cell group leader going to parkway....for me i took a bus to my friend house to meet up for mahjong session at 2.30....today luck at the table was good and bad lor....good luck is at the start and the end of the game....bad luck is in the middle of the wind keep letting my friend win....after that because my ESC people they meeting up for dinner at chomp chomp....so we end our mahjong session very early today....super early than the usual session....so i took a cab down to chomp chomp....down there we keep saying about what's new in ESC currently happening now and also tell some funny stuff lor....after dinner head to hougang plaza to play pool....very long didn't play pool so my skill abit rusty lor....keep can't get the ball into the pocket....but overall today really is a very interesting day with all the interesting schedule i had arranged! cheer to my god! =)

2007-08-24T23:15:00.000+08:00

hmm....now the truth will be unveil....actually for my last few entry is all a lie....a lie that i said i will never trust anybody again....because i'm setting up a trap to test out someone....in the end that someone really fell into the trap....and now everybody is disliking that person....but a reminder to people reading my blog....

if you like someone, make sure you know what you want before you come to a decision to tell that person that you like about your feeling....most importantly don't get your friends drag into your problem and in the end make them feel like a fool....don't at one side you tell your friends you and the one you like can't be together but days or weeks later you two are together....you will make your friend felt like a fool all along....and also don't try to get into your loved one good book by backstabbing your friends....you will only make your friend hate you instead....

but the truth from me is....i still and always trust my friend in whatever secret i told them....that's because i must trust them first in order for them to trust me back....but my last entry is really real and deep down from my heart....not a single word is a lie....

but for the person that is reading my blog and you know i'm talking about you....it's time you wake up your idea why everybody is suddenly against you now....reflect on how much you had changed for the past 1-2 months....

2007-08-23T09:25:00.001+08:00

there's a lot of things i wished to say but then my mind suddenly just went blank and can't think of anything to write....right now i'm more than happy with my life now....a simple and not complicated life....early morning receive a sms from someone i looking forward to sms me eariler....but the fact is even though she morning then sms me but i'm still more than happy lor....but how i wish she can care for me not as a normal friend but as a special and important person in her life....but that's so impossible....because i won't be changing myself completely just to make her needs in relationship....cause this kind of relationship won't be a happy one....imagine i now ask anyone of you to change for me to my liking....will you be happy to do so....it's just like taking away your habits and your life completely....that's why this kind of relationship or wooing will not be a happy one....

what i'm going to say below might be very annoying or makes you think that i'm a totally bastard after reading it....but i have not much to care anymore....i just wanna speak out everything on my mind now....

through my 20 years of life....i have been through 4 real relationship....woo countless of girls....but all fails because of my personalities....but one thing i realise till today....for all the girls i woo before....i realise in fact i don't really like them in the way of relationship term....but somehow i realise i just like the feeling of wooing girls and being together with them....maybe as most people will say i just like the thrill of wooing girls bah....but no matter what i do now i can't turn back my past and pay back to those girls i once woo before....and i know many of you who had read about what i just typed must be cursing me and scolding me thinking how come i'm this kind of person....for some reason....i realised my wrong and i don't ask for any forgiveness....because i don't deserved it....i decided to tell it out now is because i feel that it's make me feel very guilty and it's right that at least i say it out now then i can answered to my conscience....but how many of you will actually say "well....it's alright....at least you realised your wrong and it's not too late to change yet....don't worry we will not think bad about you but still treat you as our good friend" to me....i doubt none....

but whatever the case is....i really did like this girl from year 1 but now i have choosen to give up....not because she rejected me and i find that it will go no further if i continue to woo her....but is because her way of life is totally different from mine....she's a very devoted person to god but i'm not so devoted....everytime i'm together with her i feel so comfortable until recently i find that beside the topic on camps....there's nothing much we can talk about....i really wish to be the perfect boyfriend she's looking for but i can't....not because her expectation is too high....but because of how i feel when i went with her to church on sun....when everyone including her is opening themselves to god....all i did was just stand beside her and follow the singing and also listening to god's word....i felt so dumb, silly, clumsy, extra and helpless that i just feel like leaving the place....but what she did was to continue ask me to enjoy the whole service and even ask me to join her cell group after that....but i really glad to be with her for the past few outing lor....something i won't forget is the moment when i managed to hold her hand during one part of the service which is necessary....the feeling is just so right and her hand is so comfortable to hold on....

2007-08-21T20:02:00.000+08:00

today very slack....but still got do some things during sip lor....hmm....now just concentrating on keeping my life simple and easy....the past complicated life is now forgotten and i'm living now with what i have now and treasure what i have now....and for those reading my blog....i won't be telling anybody any secrets anymore....because i wanna keep it forever a secret that won't leak out....if i tell someone....there's possibility that it might leak out one day....so my decision is to not tell anybody anything from now on....because i do not wish to attract any more gossip about me....for those thinking that i'm isolating myself....you can think whatever you wanna think because i can't change what you wish to think but the truth is i'm not going to trouble anybody with my thinking and i just wanna avoid all sort of problem that might arise....

below will be some pointer to those reading my blog about what kind of life i will lead now:

i won't be calling, smsing or talking to anyone online unless got people come talk to me or i have something urgent to say or ask....
if you wish to tell me anything about yourself then i will just listen only and maybe give advice to you....but i won't be interfering much so that i can avoid all sort of misunderstanding....
my life will now be very simple....wake up, go school, eat, play and sleep....
i won't wanna engage in any r/s for the time being....unless i really been touched by someone....
i will just do what's within my job scope and not care about other things....because i don't wish to be a kpo and attract a lot of gossip....

2007-08-20T20:16:00.000+08:00

life is so contradicting and amazing nowadays....today can be a very happy day but next day can just be the opposite....saw quite a number of such cases recently and it also happen to me as well....not really say i very pessimistic about life nowadays....but life really is very unpredictable lor....one of my good friend from sec sch recently broke up with his gf....though he try to save it but it still didnt manage to save it....really feel sad for him lor....the last time i meet him together with his gf is during chinese new year when we met up for mahjong session....but really glad for him he's able to get over it and not think about it like what i always do....should really learn from him more lor....as for me....alot of things happen on me....but not going to mention about it in case it attract more gossip around me again....cos i know very well each time i very close to a girl....everybody will gossip about why i change target so fast....but the fact is....most of my friends are female and very little male....but why cant anybody actually understand me or ask me before they come to a conclusion but gossip and said bad things behind my back....

went to watch firework during the weekend and it's very nice....but the problem is it will be even better watching it with my loved one....can it be different next year? will i be able to watch with my loved one next year?

yesterday went to city harvest church to experience their service....it was amazing....didnt know their member size is that big and especially their band was awesome....really enjoyed the service and never regretted attending it....but the fact is i'm not able to really accept this kind of church life in such a short time....i need time to take one step at a time so i wont be joining any cell group that soon yet....but yesterday god's word really touched me....the speaker mention something meaningful that i really went to question my conscience...."you have to love your parent and yourself before you can go love your friends and the one you like....you have to treat always good before the god can treat you well"....

so for short term i will just make sure my life is good and not anyhow think....and also not interfere in other people business so much....because the more i interfere....i will be blamed for no reason....i rather stay out of trouble than get drag into the problem and let people gossip say i kpo for nothing....

2007-07-26T20:00:00.000+08:00

been really hard for me for the past few day....been thinking abt so much stuff....even thought of quitting ESC for good and lead a peaceful life of my own....all this have last from sat till yest....but luckily yest finally decide to let all the stuff inside my heart out by telling darren and sharon....now feel so much better....but if i can really choose....i will choose that my life now wont be the same as wad i have in sec sch....now my life is totally the same as wad i experienced in sec sch....all along i thought fren in poly will not be the same as in sec sch....but i'm wrong....they r still the same kind....since sec 1 till now....i have always been the subject of laughing stock....they will always find things on me to tok and laugh at me....i'm sick and tired of tis life as well....can anyone really understand wad kind of life i really want....can she understand how i'm feeling the past few day esp when i see both of them together....haiz....

2007-07-16T16:07:00.000+08:00

life have been busy and tiring....this coming friday will be ESC first camp, EEO Camp....everything seem done and awaiting for this day to come....but inside me i felt so stress all of a sudden....cos the response for the camp is overwhelming....our aim to move ENG sch is moving closer....still got quite a few admin work needa be done and i'm beginning to fall sick....having sore throat since yest....hopefully wont fall ill during this week cos the camp really need me....wanted to watch harry potter but cant find anyone to go wif me....maybe shall watch one day myself if not download and watch....haha....everybody please pray for me that everything will run well this coming week....

2007-07-07T21:03:00.000+08:00

2007-07-07T20:41:00.000+08:00

alot of things happening for the past 2 week....

28 June

had ESC AGM....really enjoy my day although tiring....great to see the whole audi 2 almost full house....but the joy of seeing my fellow friends from other clubs and engine school come down to support us is really heartening....really a big thanks to those who came down and make our event so successful....will upload some photos real soon....

29 June

had this khalil fong concert in TP audi 1....some event to help promote his album....organised by PA and YES 93.3....at first never really listen to his song....but the concert itself have make me like his 1st hit song....tat day feel tat he do really alike like one of my friends in tp....so we keep comparing him and my friend lor....OH YEA! i got his poster by answering one of the question post by the mecee LIN PEI FEN....haha....the question is on what is lin pei fen show title or time slot....then i was so stunned cos i very long never listen to YES 93.3 le....so abit paiseh lor....but overall had lotsa fun....

5 July

went to celebrate yf bdae for her....but before that was attached at NUS to continue to do research....so ard 4pm i left and quickly travel down to bugis to prepare her surprises....den manage to find the things i intended to give her....and i also use my time in NUS to do a card for her....erm....hope she likes all the little things i do bah....cos run out of idea to celebrate ppl's bdae le....after that rush back to TP to attend TPSU AGM....see alot of my friends and freshie helping out for the event....so we quickly sign the guestbook before making our way into audi 1 to grab a sit....the programme was great....got dance performances and also video as well....but i still like the speech given by ex-TPSU president alvin....his speech and especially his leadership video really is very meaningful and motivating....after that is refreshment....went ard looking for some of my TPSU friends to give them a little sth to congratulate them....after that is the best part lor....out of nowhere....the different empire from FOs get together and started shouting their own cheer....so for my empire oso cant lose out mah....so we manage to gather our freshie and FA to join us in....but the best if when all the GLs spirit still burning hot in us....cos all of us still remember our game cheer and our mass GLs cheer....that moment is so heartening....too bad didnt took down as video....but really miss those times together as 5 empire as 1 FOs....hope will have GLs outing again....

2007-06-26T22:15:00.000+08:00

have been really tired for the past few days....travelling between NUS, TP & home almost daily really is tiring....but that's not the main reason i decide to blog today....can say heart quite down now bah....happen to know this gal some time ago....didnt manage to talk to her much after that day....recently happen to talk to her more le....really enjoy talking to her....but sad thing is she's attached already....haha....it's fate bah....or maybe retribution? i dunno....only god knows....maybe it's juz another joke played on me bah....giving me hopes at start and crash my hope in split seconds....but nvm....still friends bah....lucky never tell her....haha....juz wish she will be happy with her bf lor....a song by 林宇中 really makes me think deep into my heart....the song is 失恋学....have time do listen to it if you're feeling down

2007-06-24T23:15:00.000+08:00

another weekend have pass....1+ month more to go & it's the end of my mp-sip....but i'm getting worried....cos till now my project have not really put in much effort....can i really pass it successfully and move on to my final semester of studies? this coming few weeks will be rather busy already....this week have a total of 4 AGM....mon CENT club AGM....wed BIZEN AGM....thur ESC AGM....fri BSC AGM....but out of 4 i going for 3....beside i have to plan for the upcoming ESC Sub-Committee Camp....so have to meet up wif my main com to discuss the detail so as to make it successful & memorable to the participant....tis kind of pack schedule....how am i going to endure....but no matter wad....i have to strive hard and do my best even if i will have lesser rest....

den today tok to one gal....she very bad to me sia....haha....her name is LW....but nvm....i have been bad to alot of ppl in the past....so maybe now it's a turn ard tat it's time i being bullied already....

2007-06-20T22:32:00.000+08:00

today mood have been like a roller coaster....early morning due to lack of rest & slp....felt quite tired so abit moody....get really pissed off when a staff from NUS actually use our workplace and cause us to think of other area to do our work....in the end we still end up at the same workplace after thinking where else can we go do our things....but slowly my mood change for the better....but today just dun feel like doing anything....den left early today at 4.45pm cos got meeting at 6....so went to take bus to clementi before changing to train....when reach bedok station....tat's when my mood drop dramatically again....cos i saw sth which i dun really wish to see at all....the thing is to see her outside wif the guy she's wif now....

was walking to the escalator and as usual like to look ard....den happen to let me see a familiar look....THAT'S HER....but the moment i saw the one beside her was the guy she's wif now....my heart felt as though a knife been pierce thru....it juz felt so pain at the moment....can say half happy half sad bah....happy becos she have found someone tat love her wholeheartedly and truthfully can give her the happiness tat i cant give her before....sad is becos i actually let a gd gal off my side....it felt so hurt at tat moment maybe becos i finally realise i like her....but it's too late already....can only say i regret wad i got and nv hold on tight to wad i have....

2007-05-30T09:07:00.000+08:00

"what is meant to be yours will be yours, what is not will never be yours"

had never fell so lost before until recently....so much things going through in my mind right now....nobody can really understand how i really feel....is this what old people always like to say retribution to me for doing alot of bad things in the past....if i am able to predict the future....i maybe will decide to be someone else....what i really wish for is to fuifil my dreams in everything....since young from sec sch onwards....i had never really get what i want in life....up till now poly i still didnt get what i wish to get....but lucky i got my 2 wonderful daughter, jerlyn & wanyu, and my 2 wonderful animal, wendy & weilin who can understand how i feel & even give me a word of encouragment that the world is not the end yet....but the one i really hope can encourage me and help me gain back my confident & usual happy mood is YOU but too bad you not reading tis at all....

2007-05-17T09:04:00.000+08:00

2007-05-17T08:46:00.000+08:00

recently have been pretty stress abt lots and lots of things....

firstly is personal life bah....MP-SIP haven really started cos our supervisor in NUS haven really given our proj task....so everyday now is juz cum sch use com do a little of programming....but most of the time is slacking, watching youtube & etc....

secondly is love life bah....currently i'm single & available....can say i let down one gal who like me so much....but i juz so cruelly ended it lidat....maybe it's juz retribution when i do tat bah....cos things doesnt seem to go right after i did tat....sometimes juz wonder wad do gals wan & wad kind of guy r they looking for???

lastly is the student election....cos i'm running for ESC and currently i'm vow & aim to get enuff vote to be the V.P....but at the looks of my frens ard me....i doubt they will vote for me....esp my tp family oso not sure r they voting for me anot....although my poster is done & not yet printed....but all of a suddenly i juz felt i lost my confident in the election coming up....voting is juz days away & yet i'm having tis kind of feeling....anyway....juz to take note the following details for those got read my blog....

Event ONE
What's Happening: Election Campaigning (Speakers' Corner)
Where is it: ENG Blk 12 Concourse
When is it: 18 May (Lunch time)

Event TWO
What's Happening: Student Election (ESC)
Where to vote: Cyber Center
When can vote: 22-24 May 10am-7pm
Who can vote: ENG Student

2007-05-06T22:11:00.000+08:00

yest had engine outing....really had lotsa of fun there....play wif water, sand, volleyball, soccer & all kind of stunt....like the part where i keep playing the "guan yin niang niang xian ling" lor....basically juz throw sand at bernice, see khee & iris....den they oso take revenge keep throwing sand at me....after tat keep doing somersault & stunts wif another grp of guys....can say they r really a crazy bunch of ppl....cos one of them actually take off his shorts & undergarment & do somersault naked lor....lucky our gals didnt see anything obscene....after tat went vivo to eat dinner & keep telling alot of lame jokes or stupid stuff to bernice they all....but really enjoy the outing yest alot lor....shall juz post some pic up & it will do the toking for me....hee =)

My new made friend - Shaun
Night scene near musical fountain
From Left to Right: Bernice, See Khee, Saidil & Melisa
Me & Jia Ling, friend since sec sch
me waiting for mrt....
me & bernice, the naughty gal
my dinner, grill chicken
dinner from long john silver
From Left to Right: Farhan, Iris, Bernice, See Khee
From Left to Right: Shaun, Me, Saidil & Huizhen

2007-05-02T10:17:00.000+08:00

yest was labour day....so was a gd day off for me to take a break....but didnt really take a break at hm rest lor....cos went to sentosa wif kaistorian....cos they organise an outing to sentosa....haha....love them very much cos whenever wif them i can juz do alot of stupid things wif them....really nv regret meeting them & having them as my frens lor....so we suppose to meet 12pm at habour front mrt station....in the end i waited until 12.30 only got 6 GUYS including me....so we went to the hawker centre at interchange there to eat our lunch....after lunch meet somemore ppl....so it's like finally we going to set off to sentosa have so long of waiting....so when we reach there we play soccer, volleyball & captain's ball....stay there until 6 den go bathe before heading to vivo to chill out....while on the monorail heading to vivo....we all think of all the stupid song we can even think of....if power ranger, pokemon song oso cum out....but the most funny one is the old grandpa morning song....so it's like everybody was looking at us when we sing lar....some sort of we acting stupid but we enjoy it....after tat juz sat at the skypark eat our dinner & tok....suddenly xavier, mark, alan, kok sheng & grace was acting some of the scene from meteor garden....den we all see already like is damm funny....den suddenly got one scene ask me act as one of the bad guy or gangster....so overall we all still enjoy alot even though not alot of ppl can join us....will always love kaistor....& oso make one new friend who got the same interest & good taste as me tat's is SINGING....haha....

"Once a Kaistorian, Always a Kaistorian"

2007-04-29T21:34:00.000+08:00

been really long didnt update my blog le....tat's y nobody tag my blog liao....started my MP-SIP tis week....erm....is so slack lar....cos there's nth for me to start to do except looking thru codes & research....as ppl noe me tat i'm not those kind of ppl tat can do research de....the most is i search but nv read thru....i'm more of the on the spot understand or do & understand kind....so tis full week i juz sit in front of my com & play if not go to i.HUB rm to slack....hopefully next week i can get the working mood back to start doing sth beside play....den oso got IFC camp planning to do....will not update anything on IFC camp cos lazy to type so long oso....will put pic instead if i manage to get it....but till now i still cant forget the 3 weeks of camp i endure....cos it's really memorable....esp fow/foc....i really miss kaistor alot....juz hope we will have more outing together....cos i love my freshie & fellow GLs....

2007-04-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

3 weeks of camp have ended....but most of us juz dun wish tat it will end....becos it's a wonderful & memoriable 3 weeks of camp....

17/04/2007
report back to sch to prepare for orientation....reach sch at ard 11.30 to have FA briefing....den at 12.30 most of the energix arrived & report to LT 26....basically the day is abt hypering them up & make sure they are familiar wif all the cheer....den also make sure they are able to form the word ENG in a very short time....after tat is all sort of briefing for the energix here and there....

18/04/2007
woke up at 5+ to get ready to wake up all the energix....den they are suppose to report for for briefing by 7.30....after which they had their breakfast....den they proceed to their individual dip LT together wif their dip head waiting for the freshie to cum....for some of the FA we're allocated to be in the LT to make sure the freshie have a good start wif the energix....while the rest follow our FA head to deploy them at elsewhere....after tat we move them back to their classroom where they have book selling, attendance taking, collection of books money, ice-breaking & cheer session....becos it's their 1st day in sch plus they not familiar wif each other so they all look very bored & sian....so as a FA....i combine all klass into 2 tutorial rm to conduct a cheer competition to let them have some challenge & have some fun....can see some of them really enjoy themselves....after tat is lunch follow by tp mass dance....the usual location for tat is at triangular garden....but becos it's dizzling so we shift to ENG concourse....therefore it's rather messy during the teaching....cos there's speaker at one side but the rest dun have....so i have to use my own voice to carry on wif the teaching....after tat they went back klass & get ready to collect the books they buy....follow by hm sweet hm....did not had debrief wif the energix....but heard there's alot of complain here & there so the debrief quite long....while we all FA went out to have our dinner 1st....after dinner is our own debrief & so on....

19/04/2007
glad to see most of the freshie cum back for the orientation despite the fact tat we did not do so well during yest....as usual had free & easy in the morning until they were bring down to LT have CM talk....but becos the CM talk end very fast....so they stay in the LT to play some games before we move them back to klass to brush up on their cheers & oso do the IFC flag....after tat they had their lunch before going to TCC have director speech....after director speech was going to LT to learn the hand sign song den follow by games at tembusu grove....but at the TCC can really see the enthu & the passion of ENG wanting to win sth back the next day....den oso had our FA performance....& by the volume of applause....can feel tat thsey like it alot....

20/04/2007
it's the last day of orientation & oso the judgement day to see whether will ENG win at least a title back anot....so once the freshie report to klass....we gather them and proceed to LT to have a small & recap cheering session....at tat point of time i feel tat IFC is oso a power house tat ENG can depend on at the telematch & regatta....after the cheering session we still have time before we go back klass to eat lunch....so we had a little fun & sabo session....& the freshie, energix & those ard really enjoys it lar....haha....so after the lunch the freshie quickly go change into the ENG shirt den we gather at concourse to move to the sports complex....looking at the way the freshie played the game....can see they really did their best & felt really proud of them....in the end we got 2nd placing....after tat was regatta at bedok reservoir....sad to say we didnt win anything but we noe those tat represent ENG already did their best....& the freshie really did their best in cheering everything....so sad to say....tis yr we didnt win anything again....as wad GAY said "win lose nevermind, pattern muz be nice"....after tat went to the IFC blk there to say my final words & i was damm emo while toking lar....cos i really feel heartpain for all the hardwork the freshie & everybody put in but still didnt win anything....after tat went to bridge there say goodbye to freshie before going to LT have debrief....& i keep crying when the graduates was bidding their farewell....cos they oso cried....so it's like damm sad they're leaving us....will nv forget Kumar, Yassir, Happy, Bashey, Pang, Kamil esp Gay & Idris....becos they were my FA last yr when i join week zero as a mentor....den oso like the video the publicity did for us....really a very sad moment lor....

my 3 lovely FA: Sishan, Sharon & Clar =)

my 2 animal: Weilin & Wendy =)

myself on day 1 of orientation, handsome right! =)

Sishan & Sharon in FA rm =)

They are from ENGINE! =)

The 2 cutest FA =)

3 of the male FA: Illias, Happy & Hadi =)

Me & Sharon =)

Me & Yassir, Will rmb him alot! =)

my lunch on day 3 =(

everybody emo-ing while gay make silly face =)

me & dawn, one of my IFC energix

me & joann, one of my IFC energix

me & wenjing, one of my IFC energix

one of my best friend in TP, Jason Pang =)

My Idol, Wak and Current energix, Ahmad

my dearest senior, Kumar

3 of my idol: Wak, Kumar & Gay

Kumar wif Sharon, Sishan & Jacintha

Sishan & Sharon Punching each other while i'm innocent

Sharon, Yiting, Jacintha & Sishan

Piggy, Farmer & Cow Cow

My Daughter & Barbie Doll

2007-04-15T20:03:00.000+08:00

time really flies....fow/foc juz ended lidat in a blink of an eye....when holiday begins....was still looking forward to the fun going to have at fow/foc....but now i really juz hope time can be rewind or turn back to 1st day of fow/foc....even though it's hard to endure the 6 days camp....but i think i wont regret joining as a GL....next yr i'm going to join as GL again man....

first day of FOC:

meet the rest of my empire GL at sports gallery at 8.45am to had a small meeting....becos we dun wish to let FOC to be not organise again like wad happen during FOW....so we decide on the priority of cheers we teaching and the type of ice-breaking we will be playing....after tat we had briefing by HGL and our FA before we head off to our area to welcome the freshie....after tat we heard the response to FOC is overwhelming and the freshie and all very ON and enthu....so tat's actually make us very happy....after tat we proceed to icebreaker game and tis time round we did much better....after tat is the bidding for flag material and going on to the flag making....after dinner is games ard the sch becos it's raining again so cant go tamp central to play....after games is debrief for the freshie before they head to washup and slp....but becos it's their 1st time for camp at tp so they cant slp....and also they not like us GL had gone thru 3 day of camp before tat....

second day of FOC:

start of the day was reviewing of best empire result for day 1....so our position after day 1 was 2nd and ophix 1st....so tat motivate the freshie and GL even more....early morning had PT and breakfast....after tat had hand sign song, tp sch song, mass dance and chicky dance....den after lunch was station games ard sch becos it's raining so cant go opp sch to play the games....but while playing at the 1st station....it rain again so we cant carry on wif the game....so the main com decide to have mass game wif all the freshie....after tat they carry on to dancing queen....and we saw alot of talent in the freshie and GL as they really dance very well....after tat is preparation for performance nite....while the freshie are busy preparing for their performance....me and some of the GL from empire are discussing abt our own GL performance also....during dinner we saw our FOW freshie as there's invitation to them to cum support oso....and we're really happy to see most of our FOW freshie came back to show support and see the GL....some of us really too touched until cry lor....esp our HGL jingwen cried when she saw a big batch of freshie back....den the performance started and the performance was really good by the different empire....but i still like our empire performance most....the commercial break they do is so funny den the dance was so gd lar....den is our mass GL performance again....we all did really well until the freshie was impress....after the performance nite we had tp mass dance and chicky dance etc....after tat was mini jam and hop....but becos i pull my calf nerve....so i was not able to join in the fun....so sad rite....

final day of FOC:

meet the freshie in the sport gallery to teach more new cheer and have our breakfast....after breakfast they proceed to go carnival game....they show great enthu and teamwork and bond when they are at different station....and they really is one for all, all for one....one get wet, all get wet....haha....of cos the GL & FA also got wet....after the carnival game was lunch den was time to proceed to the game called hunt-gry....but before we play....result was review again....tis time round we got 1st in rank....so tat motivate us more....cos we said if we got 1st we all chiong together cos final clash will confirm will be bomb down....so hunt-gry they really work together as one den most of the GL was like dead already cos of the lack of slp and lose of voice....den while playing it rain heavily so can guess tat final clash will not be carry on....den at one point of time we manage to gather the whole empire to do the task at the library....and the task itself worth 150 point....so we quickly go do the task as the other empire did manage to have all their empire cum together and do the task....tis show we're a team man....haha....so in the end it's true final clash was really taken out so we proceed back to sports gallery to continue the alternative program....we review the best freshie den the best empire....it's the same we did during FOW....we review 5th place which is zilra....den 3rd is scythia....den 4th was ophix....at tat point of time we all GL was all jumping for joy together wif the FA....cos it's like finally we gun down ophix....den we all kaistor GL and the FA was so anxious....GL was at the back shoulder to shoulder praying hard for the best to cum....when the result was release....we all like damm damm happy lar....cos we finally get wad we wan since OTC....the BEST empire....KAISTOR! all the GL cried cos our hard work finally paid off....cos like from OTC and FOW we keep getting and maintain at 2nd....den FOC we go the extra mile to chiong for the title....we all so touched and happy lor....after tat was slide show again for the freshie to see....but tis time round got a surprise for the graduates....as there's a slide show for them....can see the graduates in tears cos it's the final time they're participanting in a TPSU event....after tat was speech by the graduates main com....follow by individual empire debrief....we all GL was still very happy and touched for wad we had achieve esp me....cos it's my bdae wish to be able to have kaistor be the best empire and somemore the whole empire sing me bdae song and celebrate for me lar....really thank them alot lor....after debrief we GL keep taking pic here and there cos it's the final time we working as one SERPION/KAISTOR....cum next yr FOC/FOW and OTC we will be in different empire already....after tat we head off to CPF building to continue catch up wif the freshie and taking down their contacts....it's very crowded there oso....ard 12+ den i took a cab hm....but really really i will gonna miss KIASTOR forever....i will wanna be a GL next yr....

Kaistor FA, Yeeping and Alvin

My freshie, Ziya

Playing Scissors, Paper, Stone wif Ziya and Amaris

My good pals, Mark, Alan and Gay

Our Cheer and Si Shua Shua Mast, Hakim

My Dajie and Dage, Jingwen and Gay

My Good Friend, Terrence

2007-04-15T19:08:00.000+08:00

first day of FOW:

report at sports gallery wif the rest to have breakfast....den had briefing before heading to put our bags den to west gate to welcome the freshie....but west gate is so bored cos none of the freshie cum from there de....den back to sports hall after tat to had introduction from main com den bidding and making of empire flag....den after tat is station games in sch cos it's raining so cant go tamp central there play....the group was ok cos all of them not familiar wif each other so they find abit paiseh to cheer wif us....den end of day can see they quite tired and dun find it so happening yet....den during GL debrief we all kena scolding from main com for not performancing well as a GL and not up to the standard a GL shld be....so we all do our own self reflection....at the end of the day we are rank 4th as the best empire

second day of FOW:

very happy cos saw alot of freshie came back despite we all GL not doing well and not giving the kind of fun the freshie shld enjoy....so after they report they learn the hand sign song, tp song and also the tp mass dance and chicky dance....can see they really like and enjoy it....after tat went to opp sch for games....can start to see the bonding between them and really enjoy themselves....after the game there's some time so our FA yeeping brought us go buy bubble tea before heading back to sch to let the freshie prepare for their performance nite....after dinner is their performance nite....was so touched they put in so much effort and really like their performance....after the empire performance is the GL mass performance....we did our mass GL cheer and game cheer....can see from their face they like it alot lor....after everything is the debrief for the freshie follow by GL debrief....yeeping is frustrated wif us for not doing out best yet and not really united as one kaistor cos she find tat there's click among us....so after the debrief and washup....we all went to business sch to grab sth to eat den had a little some meeting to plan abt how we shld improve the next day....at the end of the day we're still rank at 4th as the best empire

third day of FOW:

it's the last day of FOW....but still very happy to see the freshie cum back....had carnival game and they really enjoy getting wet....follow by hunt-gry....was quite messy as the GL was told to sit back and let the freshie lead den the GL was at the side slacking and some helping out....but it's ok....cos we did our best....after tat was final clash....we all GL are to found the boundary and watch....so it's kinda boring for us lor....den our empire is the 3rd to lose but our freshie went to do a suicide instead....haha....so funny of them lar....after tat went back to the sports hall to have a some sort of debrief....also announce the best freshie for each empire den view a slide show done by the visual central team aka the photographer....really like the show alot....after tat was the anxious part....the best empire for FOW....we were thinking we will get either 3rd or 4th....so first we review 5th place which is zilra.... after tat all request to review 3rd place which is scythia....so at tat point of time we all like think we're 4th place le lar....but when it review tat 4th place is ayton....we all GL and freshie like so happy lar....den all the GL from ophix and kaistor was at the back hugging one another and praying tat we will get 1st....so in the end....we get 2nd and ophix is the best empire again....but we all still very happy lar....cos we manage to get 2nd despite not doing well during hunt-gry....so after debrief some the freshie and GL went back hm to rest....while some went to CPF building to eat and gathering....but really miss FOW very much....will not forget my batch of FOW freshie....

2007-04-15T18:09:00.000+08:00

MTC camp:

Me resting after a long day of event

2 of the empire mascoot

the transexual from changi....haha....

2 of them eye to eye to each other

3 other empire mascoot of the stage

was quite ok....had really lots of fun....was in charge of my empire call gladys....they are really a group of rah rah & fun ppl....their FA are me, yiting & hazim....did alot of things like our remix dance & also lots of cheer here and there....but the most impt thing is to see a big group of mentors joining us together to help win back the overall sch champion at week zero....can really see the passion in them to achieve it tis yr....

Birthday Party

where everyone wanna go?

the cutest in the middle

my engine pals

will help to win for engine

really very touched to see so many of my friends come together to help me celebrate my bdae on 7 apr....though it's a week eariler to celebrate....but i juz felt like it's my real bdae & i really enjoy it alot....thanks for those who have buy me present and send me greetings....i really like the bags, chocolate & many things you all gave me....and also the surprise bdae song....though i neglect some of you at times during the BBQ but you all know i busy entertaining all my guests....so really thank you for your understanding....as for my wish....my first wish is for kaistor to win at fow/foc....second wish is for engine to wish best sch during week zero....third wish is for my class and ifc friends to continue and forever stay in contact....as for the final wish i shall not reveal it....but really thank you all for making my 2oth bdae so wonderful....

2007-04-08T13:51:00.000+08:00

had just change my blogskin....will update on alot of things real soon....STAY TUNED! =D

2007-03-02T22:01:00.000+08:00

28th feb is such a significal day....it's the day where my exams ended & also me & my darling 1st date....but the day didnt really goes tat well before we met....almost or maybe flunck my wireless technology exam paper....cos is again calculation mistake....last yr i failed my networking infrastructure cos of calculation & kena supp paper....dun tell me tis yr oso ar....i will be damm sian lar....after exam had a short meeting wif i.HUB to discuss abt the IFC camp coming up on 13th & 14th feb....

after meeting went to TM to meet my darling....had bought her a bouquet of rose which symbolise "I Love You"....den went to TM to walk ard awhile & help her choose her wallet....den we went over to centuary square to watch movie "Just Follow Law"....it's a very nice movie cos the character or cast inside is very funny....learn some new hokkien terms oso....haha....after movie went over to TM long john to have dinner....only i eat den my darling watch me eat....but got feed her some fries & some chicken to eat oso....den dex, gl, carol, kelvin, iris & aug came over to find me....den my darling so paiseh lar....but am proud of her to dare face my frens....after tat bring her over to starbucks to find them to make my darling more daring to face my fren....stay until ard 9.45 we went off 1st to send darling hm....

den while on bus hug my darling to rest & gave her our token of love....reach her hse there den she relunctant to go hm so i accompany her to stay downstair pei her lor....we sit there until 12+ or 1 den she willing to go back hm....so i walk her up den take cab hm lor....but really enjoy & bless tat i have her as darling....cos she so understanding & caring towards me....nv wanna leave her at all no matter wad happen....Love You Darling! Muacks! =)

2007-02-27T01:34:00.000+08:00

recently so happy....cos i found a understanding gf....she's pretty, smart, caring & naughty at times....cos she always bully me one....haha....joking joking....think i bully her more....but anyway it's great to have her as my gf....it's fate tat brings us together....nobody matter wad happen, be it sad, angry, happy or troubled....i will & definitely will be there for her....cos if i dun be by her side....den who else....& i hope u will be there for me as well....cos i really going thru a bad patch in sch now....feeling very stress in exams & all the camps coming up....really happy to see her sms me her concern every moment....she's the motivation for me now in wadever i do....

P.S.:
Dear....i noe at times i really make u angry or disappointed....but do let me noe if i'm doing so can....cos i wanna change better to suit u....actually i really glad u accept me as ur bf not picking on my outlook....so i have not much request from u oso....u said u wont wanna leave me or abandon me one....so i take tat as a assurance tat is a contract for our long-lasting relationship....cos i will not leave u no matter wad happen....really hope u can walk along wif me hand in hand for the rest of my yrs....love u dear! muack! =)

2007-02-24T15:19:00.000+08:00

someone have been complaining my blog is rather dead....haha....cant blame her much cos nowadays dun really feel like blogging everyday....but anyway now juz blog again....haha

sometimes i really wonder am i getting tired of studying & seeking for fun or am i juz dun have the motivation to study for exam or test....yest had my first paper....it's rather easy if got study....so for me i found it easy....cos at least my lecturer give us a list of focus to study....so i started studying from last wed....so yest paper was quite ok....juz tat i have to keep writing until non-stop....so tired after handing in the paper....but the sense of achievement in able to do well for the paper is worth it....

mon will be java & wed will be wireless....but i have yet to touch on either sub....today suppose to meet up fren for breakfast & go sch study....but i skip breakfast & study lor....juz becos i'm to tired & wanna slp somemore....how am i gonna do well if i still continue tis habit....now thinking tonite shld study on wad....haiz....headache....how i wish there's no exam at all....everything juz suck....

2007-02-11T19:54:00.000+08:00

past few day have been simply so slack lar....no mood or motivation to do my mobcomp proj....although it's due tml....but i really got no mood to start working on it....but today really very happy lar....cos finally found the song i been looking for a long time....the song is the one u're listening to now in my blog....tis song is very romantic & nice....suit for those tat r now into the feeling of love....

why is everyone able to find their own partner so easily but for me i have to endure so much....sometimes i really envy those who have a bf/gf to share their joy & sorrow wif them....isit really my too outgoing character making gals scare of me....isit my too outgoing approach let gals have a negative view on me....one by one i let the gal i once like slip off from me....nv really did i go thru a serious relationship before....cos the relationship i went thru all did not last more than 1 month....can i really find the correct one?

2007-02-10T03:16:00.000+08:00

so damm long never update le....it's coming to the end of another sem le....all my proj have submitted except for advanced mobcomp....still working hard on it but not sure how to make the proj looks gd & presentable....can only say the proj is only ard 40% done....somemore mon is submittion lor....so tml have to chiong the proj liao....another one more week is CNY & oso our study week....damm TP put study week during our CNY....cant go have fun & enjoy lor....cant gamble oso....cos they said if wanna gamble better dun touch books if not really will "shu"....

after exam will be so busy wif camps & preparation to week zero liao....hope all the internal conflicts or politic prob can be resolved asap so that we can take another big step to success in week zero....really looking forward to hols & oso seeing all my sub pass w/o needing to take supp paper....really pray to god to let make enjoy my hols fruitfully after exam w/o any more studying till next sem starts....

2007-01-23T21:50:00.000+08:00

had Serpion 1 month anniversary celebration on sun....was very successful though only 27 which is like half the empire turn up....but it really turns out well....went back to sch to take my portable speaker before rushing to bedok to buy satay....went ard in search of satay stall as it's still very early & not much place got sell satay....den when i went back to the interchange hawker....i actually found it....so stupid of me go one big round of bedok to search when the place tat sell satay is at the interchange hawker....so after tat rush down to simei to meet jean, grace & jx to go buy the rest of food for the BBQ....den after tat mark came to meet us at NTUC....so we went ard to get the neccessary things require....den when we go pay money....the queue was super long....den finally is our turn to pay money le....& i was actually treated as the main man to pay the bill....so in total we spend $79 at NTUC....after tat head to jean hse to put the things & oso to wash the food....rest there a while before took the shuttle bus back to simei mrt there to meet the rest of the ppl....

first to reach was gay followed by emerald, han jun, melinda, jon, josca, ming shen, uncle, yunru, hong wen, poh choo & yong zhi....so we quickly took the shuttle bus back to jean hse & start partying & BBQ-ing....den later edwin, zhao pei, jesslyn, hakim, eileen, eunice, miral & shihan....so we continue to party but very sad to see tat all of us didnt gather as a group or team to chit chat & have fun....but i saw 2 groups sitting separately doing separate stuff....was quite disappointed....but when cum to taking pic & throwing ppl into pool we all work as one group....butwe still have alot to develop in terms of teamwork or bonding....hope the next outing will be more bonded as a TEAM....den at but not least was the arrival of alvin....he came pretty late but he still manage to turn up despite his busy schedule....when he came he was busy eating & oso we start our toasting in celebration of Serpion 1 month anniversary....den it's was very fun when jean said keep our "yum" down den alvin said our "seng" can be loud....too bad our the other FA yeeping cant cum....but after tat some of us busy playing wif guitar & toking wif alvin while some start throwing ppl in the pool....it was really a fun day wif Serpion....really love them & enjoy the 1 month anniversary....will try to organise more activity to bond us up before our chalet den FOC/FOW....

2007-01-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

if ever there's a death note on earth....i really wish the person with death note could write my name first....cos seriously i suck to the core! i'm so easily offend ppl....cos i tend to juz speak wad's on my mind....i always thought i have the principle of rather not have 1 person sacrifice the whole grp....but in the end i think my principle was more of having 1 person sacrifice the whole grp....which i think i piss alot of ppl off....

so far serpion 1 mth anniversary has been going on smoothly....confirming the attendance & ordering of food have been good so far....now is the collection of money which was set to be tml....& i actually stick to my idea of meeting very early....where alot of ppl will be coming rather at a later time....so i think tat piss alot of ppl off....so in the end i abandon my idea & go wif their idea....but all in all i really suck today....i really not a nice or good eric all the while....i can be ra ra....but i dunno how to be ra ra all the time....one simple sentence to sum off myself

I'm not a good leader nor a good cheer leader nor a good guy or gentleman nor a decisive person!

I SUCK!!!!

2007-01-18T22:21:00.000+08:00

very long since i last update....but today really must update....cos it's a very happening day....today was the first day of TP open hse....so i went into the LT for briefing den scan my matrics card den change into the open hse shirt....after tat report to BLK 19 level 1 as i was assigned there to be welcome party....it was really boring at first cos only a few buses came....but after tat at ard 2+ all the buses start arriving one after another....so it was like quite busy for us....so we keep cheering to welcome the students to let them feel the excitment in engineering....and overall we did well....after tat i was assigned to take a class or sch to tour them in engine sch....and becos the concourse is quite noisy....so i have to raise my voice & starting to lose my voice....but tat didnt stop me from having all the fun after touring the sch....at the end of day all of us went to the bridge at library there to do mass dance & chicky dance....after tat we move down to the koi pond there to sing TP sch song & oso have a mini jam & hop....it was really very high at tat time esp wif all the diff sch guides cum together as one TP....den we oso have the TPSU president(alvin) & vice-president(terrance) to lead us in cheers and etc....so all in all today was really fun....

den after tat we went back to have debrief & we received alot of praises from the management & the organiser....so all in all we did well today but tml will be even better....den after tat kenna sabo to lead cheer....but i more den willing to lead lor....cos it's fun to lead a group of ppl in cheer....so i really enjoy myself today....do hope tml will be better....

2007-01-01T15:37:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year! Goodbye 2006 and Hello 2007....really very excited when the firework display was on....at ard 9+ it start to rain....but ppl still very excited of counting down despite the rain....tat's y it stop raining very soon....muz thanks god for tat....den esplanade was hell lot of ppl....den there's also some small firework display as one of the building roof....but the main one is opp esplanade there the big field....heard there's a theme for the firework but cant hear wad they said....den the sea there also very nice lor....lots of white ball floating on the water with diff color of spot light shining on it....all in all only one word can summarise everything....BEAUTIFUL!

after tat head down to cathay to catch death note 2....but when we reach the movie showtime is the time we juz reached....so no point get the ticket and rush in watch....so in the end we quickly check the showtime at cineleisure....den found out tat there's 2 time showtime....one at 2.45 and the other at 3.40....so we quickly walk down to cineleisure....so when we reach we bought the 3.40 show....after tat still got 1hr to go before show start....so we juz find a place to rest or slack den later went to buy cup noodle eat....den went we enter there's 2 malay actually sitting at our place....after checking den realise they enter the wrong threate....so the show start lor....actually quite lame lor the show....but like the role of Light and L....juz find the way they handle the KIra case very unique....but heard from my friend tat the show is not as the same as the manga they read....but nvm....so after the show we all head for mrt station and off we went hm to slp....a really well-spend end of 2006 and start of 2007.... =)

2006-12-31T14:38:00.000+08:00

today is the last day of 2006....it's the new year eve....the time everbody start to think of their new year resolution....for me is no exception....will post up my new year resolution soon....every year seem to pass very fast....very soon it will be chinese new year again....2006 have been ups and downs for me....so much things for me to reflect on my character & attitude....

but one great thing is i met a bunch of great ppl....EEO, diff diploma club friends & most importantly SERPION....i really love this group of ppl....but alos not forgetting my dear classmate....i really hope 2007 can be a great year for me some way....cos i have endure many bad year already....so really wish can have a good year in 2007....

2006-12-29T22:44:00.000+08:00

got so much to blog today for my past 2 weeks of hols....shall start from 18th dec till 29th dec....

18th & 19th
went back to sch to do my mobcomp & asp.net proj....den end of day always play game wif the rest lor....den becos it's raining so rather cold....so have to bring jacket....but overall proj is still going on smoothly....

20th
went for i.Hub main com outing....went to party world to sing our heart out....almost all the main com r ard except for some cant make it cos of sth on....meet the rest 1pm at orchard mrt station....before proceed walking to the venue....den reach there already saw some main com there starting to sing le....so we all quickly join in the fun....really had a great time there....den sing until 4+ we have our gift exchange session & oso giving out of our main com t-shirt....den soon later some of us went to have our dinner at hongkong cafe at cineleisure....

21st to 23rd

1st day
the best moment of the hols....it's the OTC....meet my engine friend at opp TP sch bustop den went to have our lunch....den reach sch at ard 11+ den walk to sports complex to report to OTC....when reach there saw alot of ppl crowding in front of the white board....so i bet it's the grouping....so we all quickly go check out our grouping & see who & who is in the same empire....in the end most of us are separated evenly....so off we went to register and proceed into the sports hall to wait for everything to start....i was allocated to this empire call SERPION....at first was rather bored cos nobody entertain us....den when things get started....other empire all quickly cheer as loud as they can....while our empire is still trying to bond up....den i see nobody leading cheer so i went up to maybe lead abit....den soon later is ice-breaker game den continue wif flag-making session & dinner....after dinner is a sorta amazing race game....we all ran to opp sch the big field to get our clue before running to tampines interchange....den in the end our empire came i 1st & 5th in standing....after tat is washup & lights out....

2nd day
woke up at 7pm to do morning exercise....den had to learn hand sign for TP new sch song....after sch song is as usual wif the mass dance, chicky dance & TP sch song....tat is the most excited part everybody is looking forward in any camp....after tat have a mass game....where everybody have to form into groups of certain topic given by the main com....den in the end had more fun in cheering lor....cos everytime a group is form....tat group will do some cheer immediately w/o thinking....soon later is stations game....had alot of fun....got one is the static football, passing of pingpong ball by spoon & mirror image game....after tat we proceed back to sports hall to have our dinner before we had our night walk....the night walk is really awesome cos the program com really act until very real....it's abt a crime & we as an empire have to enter into diff scene by diff group to gather as much clue as possible to guess who's the murderer....really had lots of fun there....after tat is debrief den supper den lights out....

3rd day
the last day of the camp....had stations game but this time round is wet games....den have "hunt-gry" sorta scanvenger hunt game den is final clash....the final clash is really chaotic & unfair cos everybody is not abiding to the rule & our lollipop was down 1st....but had fun getting wet....den after tat is the finale wif all the song & dance & also the time to declare who won OTC....in the end dragos win us by 1 miserable point....but nvm....all of us have fun & my empire is very strongly bond during the camp....

24th
went to clement hse to have celebration wif some other friends....order pizza and oso some snack prepared by his mum & maid....den we keep eating until very full liao cant finish....we play games to finish up all the food....den after tat we headed down to marina square to chill out....and we juz spent our christmas lidat wonderfully....

25th
have gathering wif some of my friends....meet at city hall mrt control station at 6pm....some were late so they reach ard 6.30pm....den we went to suntec to eat muthu curry....the food there is nice but have poor service....cos the waiter have some sort of understanding our singaporean accent...so they took a wrong order....but tat didnt affect our celebration mood....after dinner we went to the fountain of wealth to watch the musical fountain show....it was very nice and one of my friend actually post a msg onto the show for everybody to see....den we had gift exchange session before some of them left while the rest of us went to starbucks to chill out....

26th
proj day again....but today more special....cos straight after proj quickly rush hm to get changed before meeting my wonderful & best SERPION friends to watch movie "night of museum"....the show is very funny & the whole threate laugh until crazy....i was late to meet them at city hall mrt station so in the end i meet them in the threate straight to watch the movie....den after tat went to cafe cartel to have our dinner at 9pm....over there we oso celebrate yunru's birthday....we took lots of pic so will try to upload some for viewing....den after tat we went to find some place sit down & chit chat....den after tat took a cab hm....but i really enjoy being wif SERPION....SERPION is the BEST! =)

2006-12-24T01:22:00.000+08:00

juz came back from OTC '06....it's the best camp i have been to so far lor....i simply starting to love TPSU camp liao....really looking forward to all the activities tat they have organised for GL in the upcoming months before FOC/FOW....will post the things we do tml....cos very tired now....feel like slping liao lor....but really OTC is damm great although there's some bad feeling in ourselves we think shldnt happen or unfair....but overall we really enjoy ourselves alot esp the cheers....we all refuse to leave but juz keep cheering non-stop till we cant go on anymore....but really hope to see everybody from SERPION back at FOC/FOW....cos we gonna rock it down wif SERPION power....

2006-12-17T22:56:00.000+08:00

suddenly i'm so lost in the daze....i'm so lonely now....most importantly i completely lose tat little link wif her as frens....yest sms her to say sorry to her and juz be frens now....but till now i still dun see she online or sms me....is she still angry? is she avoiding me? does she juz say yes lets be fren now but still refuse to tok to me? i'm so lost w/o her presence....i feel so uncomfortable w/o her ard....i really wish i can call her regularly like we did in the past....but it's tat possible? will she wanna tok to me? i really need help....my whole life now really juz contain her....i can sacrifice everything juz to be fren back wif her....can somebody really cum rescue my life? i in serious need of company to go bowling to vent out all my feeling now....AHHHHHHHH!

2006-12-16T12:12:00.000+08:00

i still cant forget her at all....for the past few day....life is like hell....nv see her online....nv received any sms from her....or nv even tok to her for once....i juz still miss her so much....frankly speaking....i noe tat i cant have her as my GF until maybe long time later since our initial breakup....cos i noe studies is always a priority to her....and relationship is some sort of a burden to her to handle....i really wish to turn back time way back....turn to the time where we juz met and went bowling....turn to the time where i haven let her noe tat i like her....i really wish we can start all over again....cos for now i really is in love wif her....she might seem dun care abt my feeling or me....but for me i still cares alot abt her....everyday reading her blog realising tat she getting busier cos of BMIE club matter and other things she have during her hols....i really wish i can be there for her....i wonder y she still wanna make herself so busy when she once told me she gonna cut down on her cca....does tis means she had drop EEO? i hope not....but wadever the case is....if tat's wad she chose....i really wish i could be there to lend her some help oso....cos the way i look at her busy schedule....i can only say tat it really hurts me to imagine she suddenly so busy until not enuff rest....but seriously am i a bad guy for her? am i pushing way too hard into relationship? i really dunno

2006-12-12T13:46:00.000+08:00

the feeling of losing someone u love so much is so diff to endure....yest had a short msn chat wif her....and everything she told me is like a sword or knife perching thru my heart....the feeling is so painful....yest was really the time i broke down completely and in tears....the first time i really feel i going to lose her and forever lose her....yest sms low IQ abt wad happen and she's like to gd to console me....thanks for much for her listening ear....but after all it still didnt help much....cos thruout the whole nite is full of her and her image in my mind....beside yest is the worst nite i had so far....cos eariler in the day didnt really do well for my both term test paper....most likely going to fail....and wad i really need most is someone and most imptly only HER to console me....but the moment i saw her blog saying she like someone and i bet i know who isit....i really half broke down....till when after our quarrel or chat in msn i really completely broke down....

den today had java term test....not thinking of passing it cos it's very difficult....but in actual fact....my mind still exist her....i juz cant stop thinking of her....at times still got tears ard my eye....today my mood is completely downhill....how i wish juz a simple sorry sms from her can really heal everything back to normal....but till now no sms from her....wanna ask her abt her term test but yet relunctant....but all i can say is tat there is no word can really summarise my mood right now....if there is....den the word will be soon-to-come typhoon....